Oh, the heartbreak of BWS! This awful aesthetic affliction affects many of us. “Blank Walls Syndrome” is a very serious malady, but take heart. It can be treated and in some cases even cured! Now is the time to have a frank discussion about the causes, the symptoms and the treatments for this dreaded disorder.
History of BWS
Prehistoric cave dwellers were the first humans to suffer from BWS. With all that time to kill inside (staying dry, warm and safe from predators), they went bonkers from boredom. Those same old blank walls, millenniem after millenniem! Gradually they invented the first known treatment for BWS, which was CAVE PAINTING.
Cave Painting by BWS Survivor
Causes of BWS
There are many possible causes for the onset of BWS. One is moving. That new house of yours may have an extra room with four new walls to fill. Or maybe the wall spaces have different sizes and shapes than the old house. Or maybe you just threw away that tacky junk that hung on your old walls!
Time to get rid of this one:
Elvis Painting by Zerrin Koch
Other situations causing BWS include having your home remodeled and/or redecorated. Or possibly you are fortunate enough to have acquired a cabin, vacation home or even a second residence. Empty-nesters sometimes have extra rooms to repurpose or redecorate. Perhaps you just don’t have enough stuff to fill a lot of empty wall space.
Symptoms of BWS
BWS sufferers present symptoms of cabin fever, habitat boredom, vision void and general dissatisfation with their low lifestyle level. Look at these deprived and depraved environments that lack the basic aesthetic requirements of those stricken with this cruel ailment. Something is sadly missing in their lives.
Beginning Stages of BWS
Level 2 BWS
Near Fatal BWS
The CURE for BWS
The safest and easiest cure for Blank Walls Syndrome is to purchase ART from this website. (SEE Paintings Here) This is the most effective remedy and is approved by AMA, AAA, AA, CIA, DNA, TBA, USA, USB, and WTF and is available over my counter without a prescription.
Our Senior Aesthetic Advisor is standing by.
Dr. Dominic Drip, PhD of B.S.
Other Treatment Options
Here are some alternative homeopathic solutions for a case of BWS.
Employ your exceptionally creative children to decorate blank areas.
Install a Window
Plant Your Walls with Vegetation
Yes, it really is a THING. ….to have stuff growing on your walls. If you don’t mind mowing your wall, you could contact www.ambius.com for more about living walls. However it’s more expensive than buying a painting. And speaking of paintings, this is my newest work, GRIDDY CITY 30″x30″ Acrylic on Canvas. (on SALE until 9/30/17 for $600 plus FREE SHIPPING in Continental U.S. – email me)
In the next post, I’ll TRY to get serious about how to fill your walls with ART and why that’s a good thing to do.